i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Semen is not good for contacts.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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