Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
