The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
