it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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