glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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