Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
