ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
