I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
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