I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
