About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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