Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
