No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize