Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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