We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
