Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
