How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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