Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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