quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I think pants incapable of making pants work
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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