dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
