so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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