If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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