i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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