Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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