Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
