Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
