me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
