can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
