weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
