Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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