I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Your tits are I can't wait for
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
