this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
4 words: hood of his car
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
