we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
