Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
