I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
