p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize