let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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