Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
