This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
