did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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