The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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