hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
