mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
