thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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