wrigley field is MILF paradise
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm just crazy horny about you
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
