Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
