if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Vodka?
Forever.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Randomize
