it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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