Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
that may or may not have been my penis.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
