So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize