I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
