its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
