Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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