so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
