At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
