ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
