You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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