It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
