I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Screwed.edu
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
